My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
