wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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