Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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