i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
