im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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