I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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