I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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