They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
