Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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