Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

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  (301): if there is a rhyme for it it must be true http://tfl.nu/ckyq
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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  (202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2737) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

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  (201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq
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  (512): View more from Texas

  New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

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  (512): New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville. http://tfl.nu/rzyg
  Replies (46) Good night (1123) Bad night (3933) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's gonna be a great weekend

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  (203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok
  Replies (13) Good night (6193) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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  (949): Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick" http://tfl.nu/m9ln
  Replies (22) Good night (3703) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?

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  (570): i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it? http://tfl.nu/x3ze
  Replies (4) Good night (2572) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?

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  (508): wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/zgl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1184) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.

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  (417): I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted. http://tfl.nu/wdy8
  Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.

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  (210): the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body. http://tfl.nu/1j67
  Replies (6) Good night (1702) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends

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  (609): Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends http://tfl.nu/v4m8
  Replies (11) Good night (457) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...

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  (406): Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you... http://tfl.nu/o96h
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt

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