His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?