At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️