did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.