I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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