I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's just like the Real World with babies
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
