So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
This house was built for laser tag.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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