Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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