apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
