What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket