Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"