This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth