Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.