Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
accomplished twins. life is a go
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize