Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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