I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!