I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in