wrigley field is MILF paradise
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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