You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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