Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
