I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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