This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares