if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
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I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.