My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.