I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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