I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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