i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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