glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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