i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
