I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize