You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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