I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?