I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going