The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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