True but thats because hes a fetus.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
