i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
