just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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