You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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