I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
