she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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