where am i from again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
