I want to stick my p in your. b.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
