Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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