i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
