Tell her she can't have a vagina
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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