So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom