"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
