Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
