you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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