she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
