Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
